Hey, everyone. It's two in the morning right now, and I can't sleep. My pledge semester ends in a week, and I am officially a miserable shell of a human being. Perhaps that's why the NBA's first week has brought me more misery than happiness so far, but most of the major and not-so-major developments in the NBA so far have made me extremely displeasured. I might come back in a little with the things that are making me happy, but right now the list is essentially Boobie Gibson, nicotine, and Tom Jones' duet with Joss Stone. I probably feel worse about loving that than loving smoking, but I'll be damned if I don't love em' both. Anywhere, here's my list of misery:
1. Kobe's failure to doody or get off the pot
This was supposed to be the year when the Kobe in LA saga would finally come to its conclusion, with Kobe tiring of toiling in relative mediocrity and making a final push to either achieve greatness or finally implode unto himself like a dying star. Instead he's still with the Lakers, and he's playing pretty much the same way he did last year; unassailable greatness without true transcendence, mixing flashes of dominance with stretches of quasi-dominance, switching between singularly driven bursts of revenge basketball and a vague attempt to understand the dynamics of team greatness that remain opaque to Kobe despite all his efforts, with the ring he can call his own haunting him the way Daisy Buchanon haunted Jay Gatsby as he strove to make himself perfect in order to gain access to a place of bliss that his own hubris made it impossible for him to inhabit. Instead of drawing to an awe-inspiring crescendo, his story continues to linger, and I'm tired of waiting.
2. LeBron's failure to become the ultimate weapon
This summer, we saw a vision of the perfect basketball player; LeBron James, he gifted as none before him have ever been, was supposed to have gone home this summer and have brushed up his weaknesses, specifically his outside shooting and free throw shooting, and on top of that, he said he was adding post moves. Oh, and he got laser surgery to give him 20-15 vision. He then proceeded to flash his new pretty form at the FIBAs en route to making 2/3rds of his 3s. This was the season LeBron was to become the ultimate machine of basketball. And even though he's giving a crap and playing great so far this season, he continues to struggle with the weaknesses we all assumed would be cured by time and work; he went 3-11 on long jumpers last night, and 7-15 on free throws. Now I may be forced to cope with the fact that LeBron has a ceiling, which I refuse to do.
3. Boston's big 3 imploding horrifyingly on itself
I love KG. I love Ray Allen. I like Paul Pierce. It's somewhat enjoyable to watch them all play perfectly together, but how much more fun would it have been if they became a horrifying new version of the Knicks, especially since the Knicks have slid into unfunny mediocrity? KG probably would have punched someone out by now, and Doc Rivers would probably start wearing body armor to games. And admit it, we're all rooting for a little Boston failure right now. Of course, this may be lingering resentment over the fact that they were given the East Championship before the season started while my team got written off after WINNING THE THING LAST YEAR. Freaking East Coast Bias.
4. The Suns going establishment on us
At this point, they're really just a skilled pick-and-roll team with a great point guard and quality shooters. They've lost their breakneck pace, regularly scoring less than 100 points. More horrifyingly, the beast that is Amare is still MIA-seeing him fire up 20-foot jumpers is like seeing Che Guevarra take over and then decide it might be time to keep everything the way it is, except for some possible changes in tax law.
5. Gilbert losing his swag
If there's one guy who earned his superstar rep all the way, it's Agent 0. Now that he's fallen, the dogs are all over him like a fallen piece of meat, and it's not pretty to watch.
6. AI2 in hiatus
What happened to the guy that was an MVP candidate after Iverson left last year? Now he's gone back to being tantalizing. I hate tantalizing.
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2 comments:
Must be a common thing with hell week (we called ours D-Week) making all of the fun stuff less than that.
But here's other other side of each of those coins:
1. Kobe can't trade himself and isn't a dummy either. He's not going anywhere that's a definite lateral move or that he doesn't have the utmost confidence in his second banana (see James, Lebron re: Larry Hughes).
2. Lebron now plays for the Cavs and his second best player changes on a nightly basis. No point guard, no Carmelo, no Dwight Howard. Hell, even no Andy V. doing the dirty work. He's on track to become a member of the Barkley/Malone family of no titles at this rate.
3. Just wait till KG and Ray get to the point where Doc's coaching makes them angry. Not a room I'll want to be in. Ticket has the power to bring in someone new (see Brown, Larry).
4. There's nothing special about them anymore. The team lost their second coach, made bad moves in the off season and have no new youth. Not a chance that this team could end up winning the West this year either.
5/6. Give em more than a couple of weeks to get things going. Both of their teams stink and the Wiz are even worse in personnel than last year.
The rain on your parade will soon be winter's first snow and all will be good. Just be happy that the trio of Stephen A/Walton/Stu Scott don't get to leave the studio.
"Instead he's still with the Lakers, and he's playing pretty much the same way he did last year; unassailable greatness without true transcendence, mixing flashes of dominance with stretches of quasi-dominance, switching between singularly driven bursts of revenge basketball and a vague attempt to understand the dynamics of team greatness that remain opaque to Kobe despite all his efforts, with the ring he can call his own haunting him the way Daisy Buchanon haunted Jay Gatsby as he strove to make himself perfect in order to gain access to a place of bliss that his own hubris made it impossible for him to inhabit."
This is probably the only place I'll see Kobe compared to Jay Gatsby. I'm smiling to myself imagining Stephen A. Smith delivering that sentence, although it may be more in Walton's wheelhouse
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